The Transitional Years

I always ruminate about the things in life that didn't go my way or according to the plans I had for myself. But what about when things do go according to plan? What about when I do actually get what I want.  Some examples:  In 8th grade, I intended do the IB program. 4 years later I got my IB diploma  In my senior year of HS I intended to get accepted to a top college. And I did.  In college I knew I wanted to travel and I did. Multiple times.  After college I knew I wanted to go to med school via a one-year postbac. And I got accepted. In med school I knew I wanted to get a MA in Bioethics. And I did that.  I knew I wanted to match at my top choice residency program. And I did.  Bae and I knew we wanted to get married how and when we did. And we did. I knew I wanted to live in my apartment complex. And we still do almost 3 years later.  I got started my current job just a couple months after I quit residency.  I had a craving for Popeye's t...

I don't want to do another inpatient year. I only want to do child psych when I'm hypomanic and feel like I could do anything. But I can't. Or maybe it's my depression talking now?  When I fantasize about my future, I could see myself working at a few clinics specializing in the patient populations I am most interested in - college students and immigrants. But I wonder if I need CAP to do those things? I think it would help, but I don't need it. Dr. Eguono from Tuttleman didn't do CAP.  I also think about working at UPMC. If I can get PSLF in 8 years, that would free me up to work a better paying job elsewhere. 2019 OB is not the same as 2023 OB. Pre-BP OB is not the same as Post-BP OB. "I'm just trying to live," in all sense of the word. I think more about the places I want to travel then the work I want to do.