Why am I obsessed with age?

Part of the reason I want to go back next year is because I am not getting any younger. The past 2 years gave me a little insight into what life after residency could be like, minus the salary. I think I want that sooner. Lord, is this what you want for me? Or is this just what I want for myself?

I feel God saying he wants what I want - to serve people in this way. I don't know if next year is even a possibility. It could be 2025 if it's too late to do that now. It might be too late depending on what I have to do to get back. If I have to reapply and do a special audition rotation or whatever, it might not happen. 

God, please let this work out. 

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